Distinguishing Spirituality from Religion:

I say, “You’re combining sex and religion.  I don’t believe what I’m hearing.”  

“You don’t believe what you’re hearing because what you think you’re hearing is not the message I’m sending.   Did I say anything about religion?”  

“You said transforming sex into a spiritual experience.”   The moment I said the word spiritual, I knew exactly what Jazbell meant.   The interview I did last year with "The Devil,"    flashed into my mind, and I was instantly in harmony with her.   Just thinking about that interview took my mind into another dimension.   Jazbell’s voice brought me back to Earth.  

“Let me make the distinction for you between religion and spirituality.”  

“I’ve already got the distinction, but continue, anyway.   I’ll be interested in hearing it from your perspective.”  

“OK," she says.   "Religion refers to any of the numerous sets of particular organized beliefs and practices of worship to a deity as well as to the people who adhere to those belief systems.   Belief in any of these religious systems is based upon what is referred to as ‘The Leap of Faith’ and on a denial of the validity of all the other religions.”  

“You mean like Christians, Jews, Hindus, and Moslems?”

“Yes, and the other religions as well.   In this country, we see more of the relationships between Catholics, Jews, Mormons, the fundamentalist Christians, and the multiple varieties of other Protestant religions.   If you look at the whole concept of religion, you’ll find it’s rampant with confusion and conflict because each religious system claims exclusive access to the truth.   Wars, from the Crusades right up to modern times, have been based primarily on differing religious beliefs. ^9-2

“Yeah, that’s the mentality which says, ‘Let’s go out and kill a Commie for Christ’.”  

“Stoney, I like your vitality and your sense of humor.”  

“Why, thank you.   May I hear about spirituality now?”  

“Did you think for a moment you wouldn’t?”  

“No.” 

Jazbell continues, “By spiritual I don’t mean the kind of one-way/my-way, rigid, fundamentalist, religious fanaticism that has inspired the secular elite to think of anything religious or spiritual as a fantasy of the foolish.  

     Spirituality is a completely personal and experiential phenomenon.   It’s a process where we quiet the mind, go inside our own being, and then ask that invisible part of ourselves to guide our lives on a day-by-day, moment-by-moment basis.   It’s seeking and soliciting the assistance and the guidance of (for lack of a better term) the God within that is known, not on faith, but rather, by experience.”^9-3

I say to her, “God by experience?   Not by faith?   That idea is a greater threat to organized religion than the devil himself.   If everyone believed that, churches would be out of business.”  

Jazbell responds with, “Far from it.   Churches would do a thriving business.   They would be much more prosperous and thus, be able to be much more helpful than they are today.   You would, however, have far fewer egocentric bigots peddling illusion to fill their purses and inflate their egos.”

I ask, “Is that the real underlying reason why the anti-abortion peddlers call spirituality the work of the devil?”  

“That’s how I see it.”

“That devil!   He gets so much credit that he doesn’t deserve.”  

Jazbell just laughs and continues.   “When you master the practices I’ll teach you and apply the resultant guidance to your life, your actions will be based on love, on shared joy, on harmony with Sacred Mother Earth, on mutual respect for everyone else’s person and property, and on freedom for everyone.   Allowing others to be who and what they are will become a way of life.   Outside behavioral authorities, including churches and police-enforcement, will become completely unnecessary and all but irrelevant.”

I say, “I think I know why, but I’d still like to hear your take on why this is so.”  

“Because each time I sit quietly and really go into the void that transcends what we call time and space, I attain a greater identity with the invisible consciousness that animates the universe.   Metaphorically speaking, each time I go into the void, I come face to face with the same God that Jesus, Mohammed, Moses and Buddha also faced.

“Harmony out of chaos,” I say.

“And it’s so simple,” she says.   “The problem, over the centuries, has been that those who proclaimed themselves to be in control have attempted to deny everyone else the right to personally and directly access God, or what some now call the God-Self Within.   Others who professed to have, or were even suspected of having, this forbidden divine access were ostracized, condemned, burned at the stake, banished, or otherwise disposed of.”

I ask, “Why did they do that?"

“Because those who could connect to the higher source were either under the control of the powers that be and dared not speak other than what controllers wanted to hear, or they were not really visionaries at all.   A true visionary functioning outside the established order would easily be able see the fraud that was being peddled as truth by the establishment.   They were also likely to speak truths that were not welcomed by the controllers of the status quo.

     Even today, when someone publicly says that each and every one of us is a divine being having a human experience, he or she gets weird looks and sideways glances, as if he or she were an escapee from a loony bin.   Because such talk is so far away from currently accepted beliefs, it shocks many people. 

     When I say that anybody can come face to face with the same God that Jesus, Mohammed, Moses and Buddha faced, I mean anybody.   This is not an exclusive club.”

“So why don’t they contact their inner God?”

“They all do — all day long — every day.   Our feelings (our emotions) are direct communication back to us from the God-Self Within.   It’s just that most people don’t know that their feelings are communication from their Higher Self, and they also have no idea how to use those feelings or how to expand that communication to something much grander than simply feelings.   And worse yet, most people don’t even realize that they have an Inner Self from which they can get communication.”

“You’re kidding.   Feelings are communication from God?   It can’t be that simple.”

“That’s exactly what you’ve been programmed to think.   Remember, the Universe is a huge copy machine which gives us a physical manifestation of our dominant thoughts, attitudes, and feelings.   If you believe that it can’t be that simple, then, for you, it can’t be that simple.   For those of us who believe it’s that simple, it’s that simple.

    Your feelings are your feedback from the God Within.   You feel good when you are focused on what you choose to be or experience in your life and you feel bad when you’re not.   I share this idea with you in much more detail later. ^9-4  

     As a society most of us bought the party line which says we’re not to trust ourselves and we’re not to trust our own feelings.   Instead, we have been programmed to be sheep, to do what everyone else does, and to rely on the external authority figures to tell us how to live our lives.

     People, particularly men, are still being programmed to deny and disbelieve their feelings, and all of us have been bombarded with countless condemnations and put downs.

     As a young child, how many times did you hear, ‘no,’  ‘you’re bad,’  ‘don’t touch,’ or some other similar inhibitors?   Obviously, “no” was  sometimes spoken for safety reasons or in other necessary learning situations, but more often than not, it was simply for adult convenience.   Most of us took the heavy bombardment of excessive negativity to mean that we were inadequate and inferior — that our capacity to make decisions was flawed.   Those beliefs are still alive and powerful in our adult, psychological make, and they still causes most of us, even today, to discount our ability to make any practical use of our own inner wisdom.

    Because of the limitations and the almost constant negativity we receive from the outside world, very few of us manage to hold our vision and nurture the personal connection to our inner selves.   Those who survive the onslaught are the visionaries, the artists, the musicians, the poets, the inventors, the scientific explorers.   I count my blessings and am truly grateful to be one of them.”

“Jazbell, I’ll bet you’d like to read the story I wrote last year regarding my Interview With "The Devil,"  himself.”

“I’ve already read it."

Again I’m pleased and surprised by Jazbell.   I’m also curious as to why she has read my story, but my curiosity is overpowered by the topic at hand;  so I promise myself to ask her later how she came to read my article.   I continue with our present conversation.   “Okay.   The idea of transforming sex into a spiritual experience sounds great to me, but I must admit that I really don’t know how to do that."

“You may have heard the old saying, ‘When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”

“I have.” 

Jazbell lifts her shoulders, holds her hands out to me with her palms up, smiles at me and says,  “Well?”

My level of excitement takes another leap upward.   I smile back and say, “Oh, Master Guru, I humble myself at your feet.”

“So you’re willing to accept my offer and all that comes with it?”

I say, “Yes, I am.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

“Good!   And with that,” she says, “I need a break.   Would you like some ice-cream?”

“Ice cream and a beautiful woman; one of my favorite combinations.”

Jazbell motions me toward the kitchen.   I mimic her gesture and say, “Lead the way, my lady.”

The kitchen is bright, clean and spacious.   It radiates a very homey feeling.   Jazbell stops before the freezer door and asks, “What flavor do you like?”

“Whatever you have will be fine.   Almost any flavor is delicious, except strawberry.   I hate strawberry.”

“Is there a particular reason why you hate strawberry?”

“Yes, my mom made me eat a whole half gallon of strawberry ice cream when I was seven.”

Jazbell laughs and asks, “How did you get into trouble with strawberry ice cream?”

“I’ll be glad to share that with you.   Do you want to hear it now or at another time?”

“Why, now, of course.   Tell me while we eat our ice cream.   Since strawberry’s out, how about chocolate?”

“Good choice.”

“Cone or dish?”

“Cone,” I say.   “Then we can walk out under the trees.”

Jazbell opens her cupboard and takes out a box of ice cream cones and one very large glass.   She fills the glass with fresh water and says to me, “Please drink this while I get the ice cream.”

I take the glass and ask, “You want me to drink all of this now?”

“Yes.”

What’s this for?”

“It’s part of your first lesson at being a good student.   Remember, I said you would be asked to do things that don’t make any sense to the intellect.   Well, let this be your first lesson in trust.   Drink it now, and I’ll explain it later.”

“Do you want part of this?   Are you having any water?”

“No, it’s entirely for you.”    She extracts the ice cream from the freezer, fills two cones with chocolate ice cream, returns the container to the freezer, turns to me and says, “Drink up, oh Master Student, so we can go out and walk in the dark.”

With some effort, I manage to empty the remaining water and place the empty glass on the counter.   Jazbell hands me one of the cones and motions to me to exit by the kitchen door.   We walk out into the yard, around to the front of the house, and then along the street.   The neighborhood is beautiful.   We walk along a tree-lined street with well-kept homes and manicured yards.   I stroll slowly with Jazbell at my side.

I’m enjoying the company, the ice cream and the setting.   I wonder about the water, but say nothing.   I’m also curious about the transformational void I just agreed to step into.   Whatever is there has obviously treated Jazbell extremely well, so I feel both confident and excited.

Strawberry Ice Cream

“Okay, Stoney, I’m ready for the strawberry story."

The strawberry memory instantly fills me with a chill.   I take a deep breath and shake my body slightly.   I look to see if Jazbell noticed my reaction.   She didn’t.   I begin,  “When I was seven, my cousin Billy and I each stole a half gallon of strawberry ice cream from Snider’s General Store.”

“You both stole the same kind?”

“Yeah, that was another dumb part of that experience.”

“Okay, what happened?”

“My mom caught us and forced me to eat the whole half gallon.   I got sick and threw up.   She made me clean the putrid, pink vomit and then eat the rest of the ice cream.   She then took me to Mr. Snider.    I had to tell him what I had done and then pay for the ice cream out of money I had been saving to buy a new football.   I was totally devastated.   That incident began and ended my career as a criminal.”

“A lesson well learned.   If you like, some time, we can desensitize you from your aversion to strawberry ice cream.”

I say, “I don’t believe it’s possible, but if it were, I’d like that.”

“Well,” she says, “When you stop believing that it’s impossible, we can get into that.   Remind me sometime to tell you about how all humans, myself included, are almost totally controlled by instinct and conditioning.   We think we are free, but thousands of instinctive internal programs and thousands mental conditionings from our environment, like your ice cream incident, actually control the vast majority of our lives.

    For example, you’re not free to like strawberry ice cream?   Even though millions of other people love strawberry ice cream, your life, regarding strawberry ice cream is completely controlled by the memory of a highly emotional, childhood incident.   A moment ago, when I asked you to share that story, your body language and your breathing pattern shifted dramatically.   That alone tells me you’re tied to and controlled by a memory.”

“You saw how I reacted?   I thought you hadn’t noticed.”

“Stoney, you’re pretty good at hiding your feelings.   If I hadn’t been intentionally watching for your reaction, I would have missed it.”

We walk in silence for the next few minutes as I contemplate what she has just told me.   I wonder what else controls my life, but I decide to hold further questions for another time.    Almost before I realize it, we’ve circled the block and are back in front of Jazbell’s home.   We make our way to the living room and sit down.

Jazz returns our focus to the CLI Circles.   She begins, “An understanding of sex as a spiritual experience will grow out of sharing sensuality and sexuality in that context, so let’s shift our focus to the first of what have become the five, basic philosophical principles of the most successful CLI Circles.”

“I think I missed the spiritual experience part, but go ahead anyway.”

“That’s because spiritual experiences transcend the intellect.   They are not translatable into words.   To attempt to describe a transcendent experience is like trying to describe to a virgin what sexual intercourse feels like.“

The First CLIC Principle

I say, “Then on to the first principle please.” 

“The first CLIC intention is to create safe havens for the intimate sharing of emotional and physical vulnerability; to create safe havens for sharing the conscious, intimate touching of self and others.^9-5

    Feeling safe is absolutely essential for the kind of sharing that usually takes place in a CLI Circle.   Pre-agreed-upon, mutual consent is paramount to every sharing.   At the beginning of every CLI Circle gathering, each participant clearly states his or her intentions to the other person or to the other people present.”

“Are you saying that a CLI Circle can consist of only two people?”

“Of course!   I would guess that the vast majority of those who follow the CLI Circle guidelines are sharing their intimacy with only one other person.   As you’ll soon see, CLIC guidelines offer a great base for developing any type of close and meaningful relationship.

    A CLI Circle is a context for consciously creating, interpersonal relationships — relationships based upon pre-agreed-upon, mutually beneficial guidelines.   The content within that context can be anything the couple or group chooses.   The resulting CLI Circle may or may not be sexual.   It may not even be sensual.

“Are you saying the CLIC guidelines are like a basic house which provides floors, walls and roof, and what the participants do within that context is the content, like bringing in furniture and decorating the house?”

“Yup.”

“And the participants get to do whatever they want within the guidelines just like the residence do whatever they want within that house.”

“Yup.   Thank you, Stoney.   That’s an excellent analogy.”

“OK, I’ve got it.   When I interrupted you, you were saying that at the beginning of every CLI Circle gathering, each participant clearly states his or her intentions.   Then what?”

Then everyone is required to stick by those intentions for the remainder of the session.   Pre-sharing agreements cannot be changed while an CLIC session is in process.”

“Why is that?”

“Because most men lead with their cocks.   That is, when men are sexually aroused, reason often goes completely out the window.   The CLICs are set up to prevent little heads from running big heads.   Everyone knows up front that pressuring someone to change his or her agreement will do no good.   Those who violate their own agreements or pressure others to violate their agreements are asked to leave and/or are simply excluded from future CLICs.   The CLI Circles are such joyful experiences that everyone wants to be invited back and, obviously, no one wants to get thrown out.  

    As part of that safe space, everyone agrees that what goes on and what is said in an CLIC session remains inside the CLIC.   Frequently, CLI Circles turn into intimate discussion groups where participants coach each other on sexual issues and on how to deal with their intimate relations that go on outside of the CLI Circles.  

Participation by free will choice  and  maintaining the integrity of our own and each other’s separate body fluids  are two other crucial aspects of creating a safe space.   I’ll share more with you about the integrity of body fluids on Sunday. ”  

“What about the other four principles?” 

“Metaphorically speaking, how do you eat an elephant?”   

“I don’t know, and I think I’m about to find out.”

“Right you are.   One bite at a time!   The philosophies, the principles, and the techniques that are shared within the most successful CLICs are bigger than a dozen elephants.  

“OK.   One bite at a time.”  

We were both quiet for a moment.   I just sit with this new concept.  

The Rebel:

“Jazz?”  

“Yes.”  

I ask, “Are you supporting another sexual revolution like we had in the 60’s?”

“Certainly not.   Hippie sex in the 60’s was done in the context of a revolution.   It was an open protest against the sexual hypocrisy and the rigid conformity that was demanded by the older generation.   In the face of stifling restrictions on personal freedom, the 60’s generation openly flaunted its contempt by ignoring the rules.   Hairstyles, clothing, sexual openness, marijuana, and LSD were all flaunted in the face of the establishment.   Although many were just being who they were, the predominating energy of the times was that of rebellion, and a rebellion is certainly not freedom.”

“What do you mean?”

“A rebellion is intimately tied to that from which it is rebelling.   It is a reaction that is controlled by the thing that is being rebelled against.   In the 60’s, many people got stuck on the opposite pole from what they were rebelling against.   They were free not to take a bath, but some were not free to take a bath.

    For some, sex in the 60’s was a joy ride, but for many others, it had drastic, negative results.   It also left a lot of single women with children they were totally unprepared to deal with.   Life was often played as a win/lose, zero-sum game.”

“What do you mean by a zero-sum game?”

“In order for someone to win, someone else must lose.”   The stock market is considered by many to be a zero-sum game.”

“It is?”

“Here’s a better example.  Playing the lottery or gambling at a Las Vegas Casino are very clear examples of zero-sum games.”

“Jazz, aren’t the CLI Circle members rebelling against socialized, sexual rigidity?”

“They are indeed living the antithesis of sexual rigidity; however, I can assure you that the groups are positively oriented and are not acting in the context of rebellion.   I say this by first-hand experience because I have experienced hundreds of CLI Circle gatherings.

    CLICs are created when two or more people get together under intentionally created and pre-agreed-upon conditions to share with each other the joys of emotional and physical intimacy.   By conscious intent, CLI Circle members create open-minded, loving environments that are completely private, profoundly intimate, and totally safe for everyone involved.   These people are fortunate because they’ve found or have created places where it’s safe to be who they choose to be — places where they can set aside the normal fears of interpersonal relating that plague most of the rest of humanity.   The context is one of joyful creation.   All activities within the circle are inner directed and are a matter of free will choice of the people involved.   

   Outside rules of behavior are left outside.   All activities are done in complete privacy, and knowledge of what occurs in a CLI circle stays within that circle.  Privacy is the only aspect of a CLI circle that is directed by external forces.   Does that sound to you like rebellion?"

"No."

Jazbell continues, "Bringing beauty, joy and pleasure to yourself and to your friends is not rebelling against the anti-sexual peddlers of mindless conformity; unless, of course, you choose to label as a rebel anyone who does not support passionless servitude to the status quo.

    Stoney, you need to remember that CLI Circles are completely private affairs.   Except to a Circle’s present members, its existence is not even known.   Even you, a writer of human interest stories, knew nothing about the CLI Circles until just a few minutes ago.”

“Well, Jazz, I can see that you certainly have passion on this issue.   Are you a rebel?”

Jazbell laughs and replies, “At times, I am indeed one hell of a rebel; however, when I’m in a CLI Circle, rebelling is the last thing on my mind.”

“So when does your rebel surface?”

“When my freedoms are challenged by those who think they know better than I do about how I should live my life;  when I face those who force pregnant children to become mothers of unwanted children;  when I face those who believe that killing babies is OK as long as you nurture that baby until it’s eighteen years old before you send it off to die in a war;  when I face those who force third world women to become mothers of unwanted children who will die of starvation within their first year;  when I face those who are peddling the anti-abortion fairytale.” ^9-6

    I still honor these people’s right to preach about their passions and their beliefs.   I do, however, challenge their right to force me or anyone else to practice their beliefs.

“Wow!   You certainly are a rebel.”

“Yes, I do speak and walk my own truth regardless of what others think, say, or do, and I tend to speak up for myself more that most.

    Stoney, we are getting way off track here.   Let’s get back to the CLI Circles.”

“Good plan.   Please tell me more about them.”

Living in a New Context:

“The CLIC members practice a wholesome way of looking at intimacy, love, and sexuality.   What the CLI Circle members are living is an evolution of consciousness regarding sensuality and sexuality.   Although many of us who participate in CLI Circles are passionate crusaders for one cause or another, the CLI Circles themselves have no cause, no movement, no crusade, and no rebellion.   We do not force our ways onto anyone.   Everyone else’s right to speak and practice his or her own beliefs is completely honored and respected.

    We are simply living in a new context regarding intimacy and sensuality.   Mutual touching and sensuality are vital aspects of human life.   Sexual sharing is simply the logical and joyous extension of sensuality.  

    To create a CLI Circle, all it takes is for two or more individuals to consciously, intentionally, and openly agree among themselves beforehand how they will relate to each other on an intimate, sharing level.   Although they usually are, the CLI Circle need not be sexual in any way.   And the agreements can easily be changed later by mutual consent of all involved.   What people agree upon and what they share together is completely up to them.   No one else has any need to even know such an agreement exists.”   

“Don’t millions of couples do that already?” 

“Not really.   In most intimate relationships, the physical intimacy comes before the creation of any conscious, intentional, and openly stated agreements.   Often there are no agreements at all.  

    Women are frequently pressured or seduced into sex by domineering males who have only their own interests in mind.   Women, in striving for families, security, and to fill cultural expectations, often pressure men into making commitments they are not ready for and that they’re not qualified to keep.   The CLI Circles offer a way to avoid both of those problems.”  

“How is that?”  

“The CLI Circles offer acceptable settings within which people can openly discuss issues that, in other settings, they would simply shy away from.   The CLICs offer a set of guidelines and often some masterful role models for intimate, inter-human communication.